Why do people be unfaithful

Marin says that cheating offers an opportunity to learn an important lesson about yourself. The short answer is yes. The long answer is that it took a lot of work to build up the trust I needed to start dating again. To get more real talk on everything health and wellness, sign up for our Real Wellness newsletter series! Why Do People Cheat? By Mark Shrayber Updated March 05, Save Pin FB More. View Series. All rights reserved.

Roughly four out of 10 Similarly, when infidelity was linked to lack of love, individuals found the experience more intellectually and emotionally satisfying. People reported feeling more sexually fulfilled when they cheated because of desire, lack of love or a need for variety. Those who cited a situation as the primary cause were far less satisfied. Much of the sexual activity was limited to kissing In fact, the study found that only half of the cheaters reported having vaginal intercourse.

The reason for the infidelity also greatly impacted its length. In some cases, the relationship was a brief tryst, while others were a longer and deeper attachment. Women also had a longer affair on average than men. In the end, only a third of participants ultimately admitted the cheating to their primary partner. Women were more inclined to fess up than men. Those who came clean were more likely to have cheated out of anger or neglect rather than sexual desire or variety.

This suggests that their confession was possibly a form of retribution and a way to exact revenge instead of a way to clear their conscience.

The participants who confessed were also more likely to form a committed relationship with the affair partner. Sometimes, affairs occur at times when you might assume people would be the most secure in their relationship, such as after getting engaged or when someone is pregnant.

But worries over commitment can be very destabilising. Sometimes, people can sabotage what they have, consciously or unconsciously, as a way of rejecting feelings of responsibility. Affairs can also arise from personal insecurities. It may also cause someone to feel insecure in their own relationship, so much so that they might cheat as a way of rejecting rather than being rejected. Affairs can commonly be linked to problems with sexually addictive behaviours.

This is where someone habitually engages in sexual activity as a way of satisfying desires and relieving negative feelings they find hard to control. These desires can be compulsive in the way that a drug or alcohol addiction might be. For some people, this can mean they end up engaging in affairs repeatedly or in multiple relationships.

To truly understand and move forward, both partners will need to listen to the other which can be extremely challenging in this setting , and not assume that their partner's motivation or feelings would be the same as their own.

For those who decide to try and overcome infidelity, it appears that the mutual capacity to forgive and a strong commitment to the relationship are key. There are many potential reasons for cheating, and marriage is complicated. But speaking directly, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage daily, are the best insurance plans to protect your marriage.

Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. J Comp Psychol. The Demographics of Infidelity in America. Erratum for PMID Therap Adv Gastroenterol. DOI: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

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