How cancer changes your life

I GET to go to work. He says facing fear — instilled in anyone told they have cancer — has led to him doing things he never would have done before diagnosis — like zip-lining.

I was in Mexico, feet in the air and you know the safety standards are not the same as in Canada.. Staying positive is just easier. I am living in the moment. And we've had holidays where twice we've been, we've had holidays in America where we would've probably perhaps gone once and we would've gone for two weeks and we've been for three weeks, and we do more things and just everything about it. It's quite hard to describe it really, it's quite hard to sort of put it in words, but it stops you worrying about the silly little things that you might have worried about before, it makes you get on and live every day for today, it makes you, if you, you know, it sounds, I don't want it to sound as if you just go mad, but if you want something and you can afford it then you have it, you know, and you don't think twice about it really.

And I'm not saying that people, you know, you can go mad and just start spending wildly, it's not that at all, but it does stop you worrying that much about perhaps some of the smaller decisions that you might have thought twice about before. And both myself and my wife and my children we just live every day and we do more than we ever would have perhaps done before.

I suppose cancer is something obviously which, you know, makes you focus on things in a different way, and therefore if I had a problem before that maybe vexed me a lot, and you do, I mean you do still have problems, you still do worry about things, and probably even worry about things that you know you shouldn't, but if they get too much you can draw the line now and say, "Right hold on a minute, this is not really that important", and so I think you can get things into perspective more where, you know, beforehand you would have let them maybe worry you too much.

But it does change your outlook on things, and many people say it and I know it sounds very corny, but when you, anybody that's faced with a potentially life threatening illness of any description, your priorities change radically, and I haven't yet come across anybody that doesn't say this is one form or another. Things that seemed important before, all of a sudden your priorities change and it was no longer of any real great importance if a red bill came in. You know, it was okay it will get done but let's not worry about this, this is not something to have a major flap about.

It does, as I say, it sounds very corny but you begin to notice things, you begin to appreciate silly little things. I mean I noticed all sorts of weird and wonderful things from flowers and plants and trees and things to different people. And you do learn to appreciate, it's not learning, you suddenly do wake up to the fact that, hey actually this isn't too bad at all, there's some good stuff out there.

I don't think I was ever an impatient person before, but I did become very patient. I mean I don't, once I'd sort of got over my snappy period I did become almost too laid back for my own good I suppose in some respects, very tolerant of some things that some people would just not have tolerance with. And I would like to think that I'm a spiritual person, which is I feel on a different level but, you know, it's not that sort of thing, but it's just different priorities and different ways of looking at things.

And sometimes I see people running around like headless chickens, and thinking why, why are you doing that? You don't have to do that.

But they have to find their own way. I think from a male point of view it almost makes you a better person because I think men in many respects don't tend to talk to other people openly, other men, other whoever, and discussion can be a little bit sort of, I don't know, just talk about the weather or the sport or whatever, and not really talk to people, whereas after an illness that sort of thing becomes less important and proper friendships and relationships with your close family and friends become more important in your life.

You're less afraid to open up and talk about things. It is common for people who have survived serious illness to say that the experience has changed their outlook on life, particularly if they thought that they might have lost their life through the illness. Not everyone feels this way, some said the illness had not changed their life or that there had been no positive outcomes.

Six years after having testicular cancer he is unaware of any changes in his outlook as a result View full profile. And has all this sort of affected you sort of long term, emotionally and psychologically do you think? I think it should have done but, you know, they say that it changes you and gives you a different look on life, but at the moment I don't think it's changed me at all, I think I'm still the same as I was before.

Alan says that his attitude to life has not changed as a result of having prostate cancer Do you think that having had cancer has changed your perspective on things in any way? So, some people say it makes them appreciate life more or see things a bit different.

Having faced the possibility of death some people said that they now appreciated how short life could be and life now seemed precious and they felt glad to be alive. For some people their new appreciation of life meant being thankful for what they had and not regretting things they lacked.

For others it meant seeing the beauty of the natural world around them with fresh eyes. Having survived lung cancer for six years he wakes up each day and feels glad to be alive. What's been the sort of long-term effects of all this on you emotionally, apart from physically? Well it's very difficult of course.

It's very difficult to talk about that now the years are rolling by, but I suppose if it's done anything to me it's sort of made me wake up every day and think well, you know, thank God for another day. And I mean what's the good of complaining about if the weather is not right or this is not right? Just, you know, you're just glad to be here and that's it.

If you have not had children or have not yet completed your family, treatment may change your expectations about motherhood. Ask about options for preserving your fertility. For women who have a mastectomy , breastfeeding with one breast is possible.

If you have always been a primary source of support for your family and friends—especially if you tend to take on a lot of household responsibilities and childcare—you may find that your roles and relationships change during treatment.

As you experience emotional and physical changes, you may have to learn how to accept support and care from those around you. Likewise, if people begin to withdraw, you may wonder why. Some people, though kind, are not equipped to handle the emotions of facing cancer. You might find new friends in a cancer support group or with coworkers and neighbors. Breast cancer affects every aspect of your life—your body changes, your treatments take a toll, and even when you've recovered, scars remain.

It may be difficult to deal with a new romance or even a long-term committed relationship during breast cancer treatments. You may crave intimacy and affection, but because of chemically induced mood swings, low libido, vaginal dryness, and fatigue, sex might become challenging. Ask your gynecologist for help if necessary.

Breast cancer treatment can cause financial stress. Contact your insurance provider and make sure you understand co-payments, insurance premiums, and medication costs. If you are working at the time of your diagnosis, understand how federal laws protect your job and how you can keep your health insurance in case of a layoff. Be sure you know the sick leave policy at your workplace and how to keep good records. And save receipts for tax time—you may benefit from medical tax deductions.

It's important to know about changes that may be challenging, but this conversation is not complete without a discussion of the positive changes your diagnosis may bring as well. Experts are learning that many people who go through cancer treatment experience what's been termed " post-traumatic growth. They may also find that some of their relationships are stronger, or that they become motivated to join a survivor's group to connect with other women who understand.

Once breast cancer treatment is over, you may want your old life back. Those who specialize in cancer rehabilitation claim it usually takes around five years before you are back to normal or at least your "new normal," depending on how extensive your treatment was.

Get honest information, the latest research, and support for you or a loved one with breast cancer right to your inbox. Emotional state and psychological flexibility in breast cancer survivors. Eur J Oncol Nurs. Effect of esthetic outcome after breast-conserving surgery on psychosocial functioning and quality of life. J Clin Oncol. The incidence and risk factors for occurrence of arm lymphedema after treatment of breast cancer.

Chirurgia Bucur. Sexuality, fertility and pregnancy following breast cancer treatment. Gland Surg. Sexual functioning in breast cancer survivors experiencing body image disturbance. Dealing with the financial burden of cancer: perspectives of older breast cancer survivors.

Support Care Cancer. American Psychological Association.